i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
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