you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
