No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
