Reggie can tackle my bush.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize