Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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