i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize