We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
