I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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