my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
