Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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