i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize