ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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