so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
