Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
