Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
