i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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