We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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