Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
