I heard we made out
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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