Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
