I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
