Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
