Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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