Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
