called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
