I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.