Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.