he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.