so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?