Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again