Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She is in my trunk
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
There r osticjed everywhere
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
