Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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