and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
