I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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