Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He is an equal opportunity slut.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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