The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
