i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
