Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize