Are we in a gay sports bar?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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