He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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