Princesses don't give blow jobs
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
