Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
