it was like his penis was on wheels.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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