it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
