Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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