Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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