Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
