I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
