i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
