The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm drive I can fine osifer
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
