I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
