Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
