i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
