thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
