the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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