I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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