I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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