do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
one two three fourrrrnication!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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