I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
