Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
