I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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