So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she woke up with a sticky ear
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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