just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
