I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
