We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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