Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize