He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
