Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
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I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
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Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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