I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i love accidental penises.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
